3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
