I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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