The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
