so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
