i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
