I wannas sexs uuuuu
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
