in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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