Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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