I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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