This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
