a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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