He is an equal opportunity slut.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
