Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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