You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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