it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
