Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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