It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
