you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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