I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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