If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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