Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize