But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
