I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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