The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
