Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
