Already got asked if we're dating
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
