I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize