This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize