my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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