is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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