Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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