Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
