I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
