my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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