when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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