are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
