I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
