Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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