She is in my trunk
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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