You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
