Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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