Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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