I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
