So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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