I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
