you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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