i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
