She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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