Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Randomize
