is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
