remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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