So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
sex in a hospital.. check
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
