I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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