He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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