Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
