Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
