The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
