I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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