Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
