I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
