Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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